Sanctuary
by littleladygoldie
Summary: songfic. Wolfram's PV. really short. Wolfram is torn with his feelings... well.. that's it...


**Disclaimer:** I don't own KKM or the song featured in this fic (only one this time).

**Notes:** I wrote this a loooooooooooooong time ago. I only had the guts to put this up now…

**Sanctuary**

littleladygoldie

Wolfram could only watch as his older brother, Lord Weller, lower Yuri to the mattress slowly, making sure that the young king wouldn't be disturbed from his sleep that always ensue his transformation. Conrart pulled the covers over the boy and quietly left the room. The prince was feeling helpless again, just like he felt helpless a few hours ago when they were going through human territory. It had been a pleasant afternoon as they roamed around the fairgrounds of the small town, just enjoying the small festival they held. Just he, Lord Weller and Yuri. Unfortunately, Yuri had been recognized through his disguise and became another target of a small group of miscreants scheming to overthrow the Great Demon Kingdom. And unfortunately for Wolfram, the scoundrels had esoteric stones with them. Wolfram could only be a spectator to the battle as he tried to fight off bouts of pain and nausea. The prince hated the feeling of ineptitude – and he hated himself _then_ for being a demon, which he had never felt before.

Wolfram unfastened his sword and placed it by the bed side. Sitting down beside the sleeping king, he gazed lovingly at the serene form and brushed off dark strands of stray hair from the boy's face. "Wimp," he muttered under his breath, saying the supposedly offending word with so much tenderness in his voice. He sighed wistfully, wondering how something so close to him could feel so far away, how something that felt so real underneath his fingertips seemed like a fantasy and how something that made him incredibly happy also made him sad.

_I know, I can never be enough  
But I'll always be here  
I know, that my words are simple and shallow  
But I mean everything I say and do_

The prince didn't think he had much to offer his king; Yuri had Conrart's friendship and protection, Gunter's knowledge and guidance, and Gwendal's mentoring. Even Greta, who was a human child, had something to offer Yuri that the king wanted. What did he have really? If he wanted to, he could be Yuri's fortress, his army, his sword and shield, but he couldn't. All he had to offer was just his unwavering love. And that was one thing Yuri didn't want from him.

Really, Wolfram had tried every trick in the book to just even catch Yuri's attention for just a few moments, to make himself heard, but all of it had been futile as every bit of it fell on royal deaf ears. Wolfram was futile. What was really the point of staying by the wimp's side? He wondered. Because even though it hurt to see Yuri look the other way, Wolfram was also at his happiest when he was by his king's side. And he would be by his king's side for as long as he could, even though he had nothing to offer. He would follow his king wherever he went, across lands, oceans, even to the ends of the universe. Then maybe a miracle would happen… Wolfram could only fervently hope so.

_I know, I don't have a diamond ring  
To put on your finger  
But I will see to it,  
That we will always be together_

Honestly, before Yuri came to his life, he was happy, contented… but empty. Now, he couldn't imagine how he had lived his days before. He couldn't say he's definitely much happier or much more contented now, but he didn't feel the void anymore. Everything around seemed to be in vibrant colors, all in bright hues; it was like love had given him a new pair of eyes. Yuri made him feel alive. The king had taught him that there was more to life than war, fighting, bloodshed, anger, vengeance… That there was more to a life of a soldier. And Yuri gave that meaning to Wolfram's life. Now how could he really give all that up?

Wolfram chuckled as he held his knees close to his chest and wrapped his arms around his folded legs. "Maybe it had been better to feel empty, after all," he said, knowing the other couldn't hear him, "then it wouldn't hurt so much every time I look at you."

_You are my better half  
You taught me things that I need to know  
And you made me realize  
That life is not just a simple song_

But he wouldn't exchange this lifetime with another. It wasn't perfect, far from it. But Wolfram couldn't imagine his world without Yuri in it. He _needed_ Yuri in his world, that fact couldn't be denied. Though the blond prince was probably the last on Yuri's list on whom to confide in during his troubled times, Wolfram would have to settle for that; but truth be told, it wasn't like he had much choice anyway.

He knew that others would call him a fool for following the king around like a dog tailing his master; he would call himself a fool. He was just pathetic. Totally and utterly pathetic.

"Maybe I'm a fool to feel the way I do, but I will play the fool forever just to be with you, Yuri," came a soft whisper from the blond as he lightly traced the other boy's hairline. "If you could hear this, you'd probably laugh your head off. Someone like me who's acting so tough all the time talking like a drama queen; that's something you don't hear everyday…." He chuckled. "Or maybe you'll just pretend you never heard me, like the many times you pretended I'm not here." A wistful sigh again. "Why did I have to fall in-love with you?" he thought aloud and all contemplations in his head faded completely into the background. _Did I really say that out loud? _He had never sounded so honest before. He looked at the boy beside him on the bed and thanked Shinou that the king was still unconscious. _I'd sound even more pitiful than I already am, _he thought glumly.

_You are my guide  
When I am lost  
You are my sanctuary  
You are the heart  
That keeps me alive  
You are my sanctuary_

He shook his head slowly as he smiled faintly. A mix of emotions flooded him at that instant. He wanted to cry because he hurt, but he wanted to laugh for wanting to cry at something so melodramatic. And he was mad at himself for feeling so emotional. If everybody could see him now, they'd think he had finally lost his mind. But maybe losing his mind wouldn't be such a bad idea, he thought. Better that than lose his heart, right? No, not really. He was contradicting himself actually. Because in reality, it was exhilarating riding on this emotional rollercoaster though he knew in the end he was just going to get sick from all the constant ups and downs.

_You are the kiss  
That makes me strong  
You are my sanctuary  
You are the warmth  
When I feel cold  
You are my sanctuary_

He gathered his strength from Yuri but at the same time he was the prince's weakness. He felt safe when he was beside his king at the same time Yuri was his danger zone. The king was his ultimate savior yet he was the prince's demise. To look into the boy's eyes made him feel like he's lost in the world yet he knew it was in those eyes that he found his home. To be beside his king was both perdition and sanctuary… A contradiction indeed and Wolfram was hating and loving every bit of it at the same time. He didn't think anyone could feel both emotions at once, but apparently he did. And at that moment precisely, he wanted to hold Yuri close to him, to feel their heartbeats meld into one; however that urge made him want to run away, to get as far away as possible from all his source of pain… and happiness.

Wolfram sighed as he swung his feet over the edge of the bed. Being alone and so close with Yuri put his thinking in disarray. Maybe it was high time that he left the room and got some fresh air to remove the sappy thoughts out of his head once and for all.

As he strapped his sword back to his side, he hesitated. This was the only time he could spend a moment alone with Yuri and not being pushed away. It saddened him that this was the only opportunity for him to have an instant like this and it was when the king was asleep. Could he be even more pathetic? He shook his head. _It's time that I stop pitying myself. I should be glad that I get to stay by his side._

He strode to the door and stopped as he put his hand on the knob. Before leaving he couldn't resist the urge to give one last glance at the boy sleeping on the bed, the everything he had come to know and love. He finally turned the knob and stepped into the hallway, a smile lingered in his lips as a gust of cool wind came to greet him. Yuri was responsible for his quirky thoughts and moments, there was really no one else to blame… _Yes, Yuri, this is your fault, completely your fault…_

_And I thank you  
From the bottom of my heart…_

**Notes (again):** song is from **Callalily** entitled **Sanctuary**. The quote "Maybe I'm a fool to feel the way I do, but I will play the fool forever just to be with you" also came from the internet, don't know the actual source… It even rhymes… corny, huh:) But maybe you could leave a review anyway? Danke viel mal!!!

PS. I didn't expound on the fight between Conrart and the hooligans because the point of this is Wolfram's aftermath monologue, so let's just assume that they won and that Yuri turned Maou, thus the fainting. Oh, and Greta's human right? Until now, I am not sure…


End file.
